Wedding customs of Karhada Brahmins.....(example:my wedding)

There are different styles in which weddings are conducted (i.e customs, ceremonies etc...) but i would like to mention one traditional way which is followed in some parts of karnataka and kerala....

Nischitarta/Engagement commonly known as in these days:Once the parents of the prospective bride and the groom agree to the match, the alliance is formalized with a plate of betel leaves and supari. The parents of the boy go to the bride's home and give her a sari, blouse piece, coconut and fruits. The girl's parents give the boy a dhoti, coconut and fruits. A priest chants mantras. He also matches the horoscopes of the boy and the girl to fix the date and time of the wedding. These days both bride and groom exchange rings as a sign of fixing of marriage.

According to this wedding ceremonies constitute a week's program...
1. Tamboolam- To say every good or important work should be done with god's blessings. So this is same kind of ritual wherein the head of both bride and groom's family or the parents of both visit the temple of their home god with invitation marked with tumeric powder and kumkum, veelyadaelle in kannada(betel leaves),pieces of areca nuts(adike in kannada),and some flowers for seeking god's blessings and wishing to complete all the ceremonies without any hurdles.
This is basically done within a week before the day of marriage.

2.After seeking god's blessing next is the naandi function which is basically done so that anything happens nothing can affect the happening of marriage... i mean there are some situations such as death of a close family member or any expected delivery in close family which might affect the happening of the wedding,,,This is a kind of puja / hawan performed but it is conducted separately in their respective houses or in temple.. It is not performed combinely by both the parties.This puja can be performed within a week or on the day of marriage but not before a week or so.So once this puja is performed anything cannot affect the bride and groom from tying the knots.... This is a puja with coconut, aarti and a kalash (copper pot).

3.Haldi ki rasam-This is a small function done separately in respective houses of bride and groom wherein some close relatives will apply tumeric/haldi to bride/groom respectively as a sigh of good shagun.This is generally done on the previous day of wedding or on the wedding day.

4.Next comes the great day i.e wedding at last... But here we have lots of ceremonies.
a)Havan: On the day of the marriage, a havan is performed in the respective houses of the bride and the groom before the departure to bride's place or place of marriage wherever the wedding is.

b)Next is the departure of groom family to the venue of wedding where the bride's family will be eagerly waiting for their would be relatives. ie groom's family.When the groom and his party reach the wedding venue, the sumangalis or married women( usually girl's elder sister) from the perform an arti and welcome the groom and his family.The bridegroom wears a dhoti, angavastram and a pheta, a turban.

c) Kaasi yatra:This is a playful ritual with the groom pretending to get angry as nobody is searching for a bride for him and threatens to go to Kashi on a pilgrimage. He carries a walking stick, an umbrella, a fan, a coconut, a small packet of rice and dal, and a dhoti. This is when his maternal uncle convinces him and puts forth him the girl that he has chosen for him or would offer his daughter's hand for marriage.

d) Mantapa puje:On the day of marriage the first ritual that is performed is the Mantapa Puja. This is to make the mandap or the hall in which the marriage is to take place, appropriate for an event as sacred as a marriage. The bride's father brings the groom to the mandap and is worshipped in a ceremony called the Var Puja. The bride's parents honour him by washing his feet and offer him a silk dhoti and pitambar, which are to be worn by him
After this the groom will be made to sit with some young male child and a special puja called shibika puja is performed for him and ties the sacred thread or 'jhanava' on him.

e) Garland ceremony: the bride is escorted to the mandap by her parents and some relatives. bride and groom stand on the either side of a white cloth, which separates them. For the recitation of the marriage mantras , the bride and the groom take standing positions. The cloth is removed, and the bride and groom garland each other amidst the chanting of mantras.

f)Dhare ceremony/kanyadaan:the bride's father gives away the bride to the groom. He takes the groom's hand and places it on the bride's hand. The moment when the bride is "handed" over to the groom, her father ceremonially pours water into the groom's hands (called dhara), signifying that she is now his. Rice is then put into the havan five times.After this ceremony the groom,s side hand overs the wedding costume for bride which is what she has to wear for the saptapadi and rest.

g)The 'sutra-bandhan' follows in which the couple is encircled with nine yards of thread.

h)Saptapadi:The groom's angavastram and the bride's pallav is tied with a nuptial knot. The bride follows the groom's footsteps seven times around the holy fire (saptapadi) or takes seven steps on rice. After this bride's foot rings are put by groom's relative, there are changing of bangles, nose ring and so on.

h) Tying the knot: Next the groom will tie mangalsutra on the neck of the bride a symbol of her marital status, which she will wear at all times.

i)For the next ritual - the 'vivah-havan' (lighting of the sacred fire), the fire is lit with 'agni' (fire) brought by the bride's mother.

The conclusion of all 'havans' is known as the 'havan-purnavati'. The couple is now pronounced man and wife..

j) Vidai ceremony marks the tearful farewell of the bride from her paternal home for her husband's house. The parents of the bride gift her rice etc. to help her set up her new home. the bride is accompanied by her brother who stays at the groom's house for the night and returns home the next day.

k)Gruha pravesh ceremony:Welcome of the bride into her new home is called Graha Pravesh. The bride kicks a kalash full of rice with her right foot kept at the threshold of the house and followed by a puja welcoming the bride. This is followed by the name change ceremony. Here the groom decides a name for his bride he inscribes with a ring on a plate containing rice.

5.Next day of wedding we have two ceremonies/rituals:Here the bride's parents and relatives arrive to groom's place to take the bride-groom to their place.They are welcomed by aarti .. In the meanwhile following are done:

a) Puja or hawan wherein the bride is supposed to cook rice in small bowl with the groom while the mantras are being chanted by the purohits. Also there is something called garbh shudhi i.e some drops of tulsi leaves smashed are put in the nose of the bride..

b) Next is the nagavalli ceremony wherein in a big drum tumeric water is prepared. The bride-groom are made to sit outside and both the sides relatives (eg:both sides sisters) put the tumeric water on the bride-groom together and next is in a small tawa type kadai tumeric water is put and ring is put. The bride and groom has to take out the ring, three chances are given. Whoever picks up at third t ime is said to be the ruler of the both(just a saying). After that aarti is taken of both.

6.Next step is where the couple is taken by bride's parents to their house for few days and a satyanarayana puja is performed.. After that he groom's family goes over to his in-laws place to fetch the bride and the groom.

7. Finally reception(optional) as a get together for friends and also family.


Thats the end of wedding ritual but starting of a new life in some way.. But seems to be very good and meaningful..